Flow State Business

Playing Big No Matter What: How to Rewire the Narrative Around Money

October 26, 2022 Ruby Lee Episode 272
Flow State Business
Playing Big No Matter What: How to Rewire the Narrative Around Money
Show Notes Transcript

I love talking about money. Abundance, wealth, money, I’m here for it! And because I’ve done a lot of work to heal my relationship with money, I’m able to honour the fact that money is a resource that allows me to do whatever I want with it. 


For a lot of people though, the narrative around money is that it’s too hard. It’s scary, it’s unknown, it’s out of reach. So I want to broach that topic today to talk about playing big no matter what, and learning how to rewire your narrative around money through everyday life situations. 


In this conversation, I’m bringing things down to a really relatable everyday context and sharing some of the specifics in my day that really help me play bigger and think bigger with money.


I share some more details around my money story, having grown up with a father who was an epic gambler. A lot of my childhood experiences taught me that money was incredibly unsafe, it ruined families and it was the worst thing in the world. 


But money isn’t the problem. The problem is the belief you've attached to money. So in this episode, I’m sharing a really practical way you can begin to require the narrative you have around money and begin to step into more freedom and abundance around wealth.


As I share my story and the way I think big with money in everyday situations, I hope it inspires you to look at your own money narrative. 


Think about where you might need some healing in your own life and look at ways in which you can come face to face with some of your greatest fears that relate to money. 


Money is a resource that enables us all to make a huge impact on the world and live in flow with abundance. Start playing big no matter what!


LINKS

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00:01

Welcome to Flow State Business. Hello lovelies, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so happy you're here today and we are talking about money. I actually pulled the wheel of fortune card. There you go. Just before we started the podcast, I love, love the Tarot. For all things business and guidance, as you know, and I gave it a nice little tap, good shuffle and what you know, Wheel of Fortune just went bam. And what this card represents to me is not just like, you're going to be rich and wealthy, whoa Wheel of Fortune, it means that you are in control of this wheel, you can turn it towards fortune, or you can turn it away from it, which is what has really inspired me to sit down with all of you today, and talk about this topic of money because I know we love it. I know that as a community, we gobble up this topic, and it always creates so much abundance and high vibes. And I always love sharing where I'm at with money through stories and through moments that I realised has really helped me grow and change. 


01:14

And really where I want to land today is talking about playing big no matter what, how to rewire the narrative around money through everyday life situations, as opposed to it being this big concept that's really hard to grasp. And instead, I kind of want to give you what the specifics are in the day that really helps me play bigger with money. How does that sound? I hope you are ready for this and excited to also join along in the conversation. And it's so oh gosh, sometimes I wish we did a live show, I would absolutely love that. I feel like we definitely need to incorporate that somewhere along this journey of this podcast is becoming one of the best and greatest in the world. 


02:01

I also have my beautiful glass of wine. Gosh, a while ago down, we went to Adelaide, which is the wine region in Australia. And I got myself a good couple of bottles of Shiraz, my fav. And I decided this was a good time to break it open and to Cheers to all things money and celebrating that together as a community because I have a lot of respect for money. I have a lot of respect for this topic. 


02:27

So where do we start? Money is one of the most powerful resources that we have in this world. Do you agree with that? I believe it can be used to create empires, or it can be used to help people in need. And of course, it can be used to destroy. And unfortunately, a lot of people view money as something that is bad and that will disappear if we don't watch it carefully. Or if we have it, then we're going to do bad things with it or we don't trust ourselves with it. My Money Story is a really common one I feel although every time I share it, it always seems to kind of give others a different perception of someone who has now made multiple millions of dollars online. And then realising that holy shit this person really had to go through some of her own stuff to do with money.


03:21

So in a nutshell, if you're new here, I grew up in a family that was riddled with financial trauma and a lot of financial debt because my father was an epic gambler. And he has since gone through his healing journey. I've gone through mine. But what that really taught me about money was It was incredibly unsafe, and unstable, it ruined families. It got to the point where there were a lot of nasty loans from bad people in the underworld being made and essentially my life was at risk. I had to go into hiding. They were trying to kidnap me to hold me as ransom. We lost our house. It was a really, really awful time in all of our lives. I was followed, I was stalked, I was threatened. They called my phone about 112 times a day. And I was so scared you guys, that made me feel as though money was the worst thing in the world. 


04:17

So with that background, and a lot that I had to almost dig up again because I buried it. I was so afraid of it. I was so afraid of that memory and that thought, as anyone who's gone through any level of trauma, I had to really come face to face with it when I decided to choose this pathway of becoming an entrepreneur. And more so than that choosing this pathway of being a light leader that comes with healing financial and generational trauma of money and women. So in this episode, we're going to discuss how to rewire the narrative around money so that you can play bigger with it no matter what. But also, as I share my story, perhaps it's inspiring you to also look at your own and where you can perhaps do some healing and Looking at ways in which you can come face to face with some of your greatest fears that relate to money, because I feel like what you'll realise is that it's not money. That's the problem. It's the belief or the story that you've attached to it money is neutral money doesn't have a good or bad weighting to it, it merely is a resource. It merely is an element that we get to charge up with either positive ions or negative ions, right. 


05:25

So when it comes to money, a lot of people feel like they are not enough, especially once you start building a business and once you start charging, once you start putting a price tag on your skills, your attributes, the characteristics in which you show up in, and a lot of my clients, a lot of you have also commented that you think that you need to have a lot of money in order to find happiness in your business. And this might not be as straightforward as that you wouldn't say it like that to me, but that's how it would be interpreted. And it would come out in the form of once I get that next big launch, I'll feel better about myself, once I make $10,000 I'll feel legit. Once I have, you know, a certain amount of people pay me a certain amount of money, then I'll feel successful. So what it comes back to is a lot of people feel like they're not enough. And they feel like they need to have a level of money in order to be happy. 


06:19

So a bit of storytime. And I want to link this back to how this has really helped me think about money differently. And what makes me feel as though I'm playing big with money. And you might be surprised with this story and how kind of everyday it feels. But I feel big with money because of something like this. So, unfortunately, in the last month or so, my son has had to have a lot of dental work. Actually, both my kids have had my youngest and my eldest. Eldest, he had Invisalign for a while it didn't really work. So we had to upgrade to braces. And then my youngest is a mouth breather.


06:57

So what this can do for a lot of baby teeth, and he still has all of his baby teeth, by the way, is it can cause cavities. So there's a whole science behind it. And I remember saying to my dentist, I don't know what's going on. We're like pretty much like a no sugar family, you know, what's happening here? Is that his toothpaste or something else? And she's like he's a mouth breather, I can tell by the way he's talking and that kind of thing. So anyway, have a Google of that if you're not quite sure what that is, or if that's even of interest to you. So there's been a lot of dental work. And with my youngest, it's roughly $170 a session out of pocket. Insurance covers some of it, per session and he's had three so far to fix the cavities. And so it's been just over $500. My eldest with the braces, as you can imagine, it's a couple of $1,000. 


07:47

So this would cause a lot of financial stress on a family because it can be deemed as an unexpected cost, something that you wouldn't have seen sort of come out of the blue. And I know growing up in a middle class family and I also had braces, these sorts of health things come up. It caused financial stress on the budget. I saw my parents over the dining table, reshuffling numbers around and discussing what this meant, and meaning that we had to cut back meaning that we couldn't go on that year holiday, you know, at least push it out a little bit. Or maybe it meant that someone had to work some extra hours in order to cover this unexpected cost. To us, we didn't even note how much any of this costs. And the only reason why I kind of know what they are is because when the claim went through, you can kind of see it and you sign off on it. We just tap the card and kept going on with our day. Absolutely neutrally, no guilt, no feeling of sickness, no thinking, oh, like $1,000 had gone out of the account or $2,000 extra is left or now that's extra that we have to pay off the card. It was just so neutral. 


09:00

And this is financial abundance. To me, this is playing big no matter what. And it's because the business that we've built and created has allowed us to have so much in excess, so much in surplus that having this level of like, oh, okay, cool. We can just pay for that. If this is, you know, the health of our family. This is what they require in order to, you know, obviously have healthy teeth and all that great, no questions asked. Let's do it. Another example where I recently felt as though oh, gosh, like I'm playing really big financially now. And once again, it's an everyday example. The school sent home a raffle ticket booklet last week. Raffle tickets to fundraise for the upgrade of the school PA system. And it was $2.50 for a raffle ticket. There are 100 tickets in the booklet and they sent a little note with it to say no pressure in selling these. It really really is to add a lot little bit more to the budget in the kitty so that we can upgrade some aspects of the school. We just signed it off and bought the 100 tickets, right? And it was so funny because you know, with raffle tickets, you have to like write information on each page, and then you go into a drawer to win something. 


10:18

We were just like, Okay, fine. Anyway, we bought them all to contribute to the new PAC system. And about a month later, the school newsletter reported back to say, thank you so much for your contributions. I honestly don't think too many people sold these raffle tickets. Like, it's one of those things. It's like, could you be fucked selling it to your friends and your family or whatever? Most people would be like, no. But anyway, they said that they were close to raising the money for it so we closed that gap with a cash donation. We just went up to the office and spoke to the principal and said, can we just close the gap on that, so that we can have a new PA system for the school? No biggie, it just felt like a really nice narrative to have so I wanted to do it. And that just felt really expensive to me, it felt so good to me and so I also wrote it down in my journal, because I want to have more of those experiences. I choose to have more of those. And that might mean contributing to other parts of the school and the upgrades that it needs or other schools or the soccer club, something community-driven, I feel really lit up by it. 


11:21

So it's not that we don't have any concerns or stresses, like everybody else. Everybody experiences a level. It's like you have an energetic minimum and maximum with what you can and can't deal with, or, you know, what feels good with money and what doesn't feel good with money? We have that too. Please don't take it like, oh, gosh, I've rewritten my narrative and I don't feel these things. Absolutely. That narrative that you have lots of money and you also have lots of trouble comes up every now and again because of my history, because of the deep layers that I have that I've held within my cells because of hiding inside of a dumpling factory for weeks, hoping that no one's going to find me and put a number to me and if they don't pay it, then who knows what will happen to me, right? That sort of deep, irrational thought still comes up that those people are going to find me if I'm seen and famous earning lots of money. 


12:16

But you know how it also comes up in a more practical sense around having more money equals more trouble is, we now pay so much money to the taxman. So much money, it's absolutely crazy because we earn so much we also pay so much in tax. And we do have a lot of complicated financial structures. And we pay so much money to our estate lawyers, to our accountants to have these structures in play, to help protect our wealth and to help us grow our wealth. But it's how you deal with this narrative that makes the difference. This is how you start to rewire by noticing what is the chokehold, what makes you feel a little bit nervous and scared about talking about money more in this way. And a part of playing big and a part of rewiring the narrative is that you can see something that will help you achieve your goals and linking that to something that is holding you back. 


13:15

So another way of looking at this is if you know that you have the desire to earn $100,000 this month alone and noticing where you're currently at with that goal. Some of you will be more within reach. Others of you are kind of going $100,000 this month? That is so crazy. We want to look at what's the narrative in there. So I will have some clients who are saying to me, oh my God Rubs, like I'm so close. I'm at $88k, where I'm going to find this next 12? It just feels so impossible. It feels so far away. I've literally cleaned out the pipeline, there's literally no one else who wants to pay that. I'm done and I keep capping out at $88k. I've definitely had that client before. And I've had some other clients who are like, That is so funny. I haven't even hit $10k How could I possibly dream of $100k. And so then there's a belief in there about the fact that you have to create these incremental steps up to $100k when really you can do anything in the quantum. You could just do $10k and then $100k next month. It's like I went from a $2k month to a $50k month because I decided that I was willing to receive that level of money and then put a sales offer to back that and be behind that. 


14:26

With the client who was at $88k trying to get to a first $100k month she had this narrative that she would set goals that she could get close to but never achieve. So that was really cool when she realised that and after that, she hit $102k the following month. It was a massive celebration. So there's a really beautiful walking track around my area for those of you that live in Southern Gold Coast that track basically from Rainbow Bay, right through to again to Currumbin and you walk along the water and you see the waves hitting the shore and it's so gorgeous and I I love riding my bicycle on that track and just going on solo walks because you can just walk and walk and walk and get into a trance. There's beautiful homes along there, lots of famous people live along that track. And when I walk there solo, I try not have anything in my ears, like no air pods or anything like that, I just want to listen to the ocean, I want to be really present and communicate with my guides. 


15:21

So I don't usually tune into other people's conversations on this walking track but for whatever reason, the other day when I was walking, I started to tune in to what everybody else was saying, and oh my god, you guys, I couldn't believe it. You know, just every single conversation was discussions around money troubles, denied mortgages, being massively in debt, student loans, losing jobs, expensive homes, they were pointing at all these beautiful, expensive homes that were walking past, and just literally proclaiming out loud to the universe, and to everybody else that could hear that they could never afford this place. Like, I'll never ever live there. Or, like, as if I could ever dream of having that. And it was of all ages, not just someone who felt like they were over the hill and had hit their earning potential. Like it was all ages, the young ones, everybody. And I walked and I walked and eventually, I decided I'm done. I'm tuning out of these low-vibe money convos because they were honestly starting to stress me out. I take a lot on as a Pisces Moon. I truly feel like the empathy around especially that old lady who was talking about losing her job and how she's like, that's it, she's done. She's never going to work for someone else again because she's too old and I was like, Oh, my God, I feel so bad. 


16:45

But it just made me think, what if you could rewire the narrative around money, so that instead of it causing stress, and instead of it causing doom, there would be something else out there that could excite your energetic system to then link into that. So you know, what I wanted to say to that little old lady was like, it's not over, you cannot be older than let's say, 50 or 60. And there has to be a way that you can continue to live your lifestyle, and I can almost bet your bottom dollar, that she's likely asset rich, right. But she's feeling like, because there's no cash flow. If you live in this area, and you're walking around this area, you are more than likely going to be asset rich. I know, it's a wild assumption but I'm just going to put it out there. Because also, I saw her hop into a car and she drove a relatively new car. And sure, it could be like on loan and whatnot. But if you've been able to get a loan of that amount for this car, you're good. You know what I mean? So I do wonder what it would look like if she had another version of herself that said, a narrative of Great, so now that I have not got that job, I can finally do what I want, or start that side hustle, or actually be able to offer, you know other things, but to her it was like dead and done and dusted. 


18:07

And if you're kind of feeling that way you just feel like there's no other ways to rewrite and reprogram your story around money. Another way to look at it is to start writing what you know that you want to experience. So this whole topic in this whole episode is really about the everyday situations that help you play bigger and think bigger. Noticing that I'm not kind of saying dream into the millions of dollars and have a beautiful dream house and have six properties around the world. All that I'm here for it. We've had many conversations about that on this podcast, I really wanted to kind of have this grounded, what does the day-to-day look like? So here's what I knew that I wanted. And I want you to also write yours down, try and come up with at least five things that you want to experience with money and what you want to do with it in a very physical, you know, material form. 


18:57

I knew that I wanted to invest in my business without question. So that meant I could hire my podcast producers, shout out guys, and not have to worry about the $2,000 a month that I was paying. But it just felt really easy, done. Didn't have to be reliant on the business producing a level of income without having to wonder whether or not I could pay my producers. I knew that I wanted to invest in my own personal growth and development. So if I found a spiritual course that I wanted to buy, I could buy it without having to put it on credit or be in debt. I could just buy it feeling good about myself. I knew that if I wanted to work with a coach and be in a mastermind, and it would cost me $75,000 that year I could just do it, you know, and just be like, cool. That's what it looks like.


19:41

I knew that I wanted to travel and be able to do that very spontaneously. Right now, it's three tickets to go halfway around the world is going to be a lot of money. And then when my stepson comes and he visits us that's going to be a lot of money returned for a short period of time. But I don't ever want to have to think about it. You know, as I've been telling a lot of my friends here in Australia, or even those that are outside of the US that we're coming to the US and I'm so pumped. Oh my gosh, you guys, and we're going to go stay back in the OC.  


20:16

I actually even went to a bridal shower not too long ago and I was speaking to this one amazing lady who goes to the US a lot, a couple of them did, actually but one, in particular, said she goes there a lot to the area that I like to go to. And she couldn't help herself. For 20 minutes, she was telling me how expensive everything was there. My client who was in mostly LA for three months, every call we hopped on, she was like, it's so expensive, it's so expensive. And every time that kind of, you know, the conversation came up, I would really have to cleanse my aura from that, because I just never think about it in those in those terms. So I knew what I wanted was to be able to travel abundantly without having to second guess the cost or lower our standards of what we truly wanted to experience whilst we travel. 


21:00

I knew that I wanted to eat at restaurants whenever I wanted to without having to pick the most cheapest thing on the menu, which is absolutely something that I used to do. I really wanted to have the linguini with the prawns and the truffle oil, but that was $38. Instead, I'm going to pick the two entrees that's only going to come to $20. And I wouldn't have the most expensive glass of wine, I'd have the cheap Prosecco because at least that was something and not nothing. I didn't want to have that. New standards, raising that. I knew that I wanted to buy coffees daily. Guys, this was something that Michael and I reflected on one of the episodes about how truly part of our goal quitting our jobs and starting our own business was to make $10,000 a month. And in that assumption and hypothesis of 10k a month, we also factored in what daily coffees would look like for the both of us without needing to budget for it. 


21:52

There is this guy in Australia, the Barefoot Investor and he's full on very budget focused. And he was talking about this line of coffees and how you can make your own coffees at home and I'm like, unsubscribe. Do not want that. And so I wrote that down in my journal, I want to be able to buy coffees daily and not have to worry about how much it cost. I knew that I wanted to buy something really fancy, a designer item once a year. That was just something for me to kind of raise the bar of feeling you know, really abundant, uncomfortable but excited and not having to once again go into debt around a but just have money there for me to do that. 


22:38

And then lastly, it was like all things self-care, I wanted a massage every two weeks, I want to get my nails done every month, I wanted to get my hair blow dried once a month, I wanted to get facials done once a month. All these things that I never needed to have to consider the prices around. And this was what really helped me tune in to playing big no matter what. Rewriting the narrative around money and what it was going to help me achieve and feel. It's possible. And it starts with changing the way that you think about money. Money is not evil. It's not something that will disappear if you don't watch it carefully. 


23:12

So guys, I hope you really enjoyed this conversation. And I want to know whether or not this is really helping you. Please send me through DM over at @_rubylee_ on Instagram. I'd love to kind of hear what aspects of this episode has really helped you think about it really differently. If you're on YouTube, definitely leave a comment. I absolutely read all of them. I'm so excited to continue sharing more of these on YouTube. And lastly, if you do want to upgrade your money story, definitely check out my course the Queen of Coin. It's not just another money course and a budget course or anything like that. It's definitely one that's designed to help you rewire everyday moments in your life to invite more abundant thoughts which effectively rewrites your narrative and belief system around money and it creates more flow of financial abundance in your life because of that, so that sounds great. Definitely go check that out. It's in show notes it's in the links and I will catch you for my very next episode. Bye guys love you so much.